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Corbomite Maneuver Notes [Commentary, humor, K/S] (Ep recap)

Von: ToolPackinMama (philnblanc@comcast.net) [Profil]
Datum: 28.04.2010 06:26
Message-ID: <hr8dei$ho1$1@news.eternal-september.org>
Newsgroup: alt.startrek alt.tv.star-trek.tos
Corbomite Maneuver Notes
by Laura Goodwin



http://allyourtrekarebelongto.us/corbomite.jpg

OK, so I'm watching Corbomite Maneuver, which I had postponed doing only
because I mistakenly remembered it as a relatively dry, straightforward
suspense episode. True, there's a famous, trademarked bit of genius
displayed by Kirk in this episode, but I didn't remember anything
particularly slashy or sexy in it (I'm always looking for the good
stuff), so I postponed analyzing it. I now see that was a huge mistake.

The first thing that happens is the Enterprise is blocked by a weird
cube that looks like a hunk of Muenster cheese hanging by a thread in
space. Spock is in command at the time. Spock stares at the cube, then
we are shown a Spock's eye view of the cube, and all I can think of is
the dairy council's snappy new slogan, "Behold The Power Of Cheese!" (tm)

So, where's the beef? There's a break for commercial before we find out.
The beef's in sickbay.

Captain Kirk is on his back with his legs in the air in sickbay, working
up a sweat for Dr. McCoy. No, it's not what you think. It's just his
bi-annual physical examination. And what an exam it is, too! Captain
Kirk is lying on a tilted table naked to the waist and slick with sweat
- slick as a fresh-caught fish in all his shaved-chest glory - and he's
pumping/pedaling some preposterous leg-exercise contraption while Doctor
"Bones" McCoy stands nearby, smiling sadistically, and urging him on, thus:

"That's a boy, keep it up! Work up a little sweat...do ya good!"

Jim grunts, groans, complains, "You're killing me!" and keeps right on
pumping. Hey, he's the doctor! You gotta do what he says.

Finally McCoy thinks Jim has suffered enough and gives him permission to
stop. Kirk sits up, and suddenly notices that the ship is at alert
status. Oh my gosh! We have an emergency situation! Kirk grabs a towel
and blots while dialing up Mr. Spock. Towel around neck, Kirk pants and
drips while Spock watches him, and BTW, gives him the lowdown on the
situation.

Oh my gosh! This sounds like a very puzzling, very difficult situation!
Jim decides to rush to the bridge right away. He's in such a rush that
instead of getting dressed he just drapes his command tunic lightly
about his broad shoulders and strolls through the halls past dozens of
people, most of whom seem not surprised by this sudden appearance of a
handsome half-naked man with a shaved chest who just happens to be
glistening with fresh perspiration. I guess they have come to expect
this sort of thing from him. Well, except for one funny guy who gives
Kirk's chest a long look as if to say, "Love the new look, Captain", and
Kirk gives him a look back as if to say, "What you lookin' at, MARY!?
Wanna make sumpin' of it!?"

Kirk can't stand to stay out of contact with Spock for even ten seconds,
so as soon as he's in the lift, he calls Spock again. During this
conversation Kirk grabs a sleeve, and for a moment I thought, OK, now
he'll finally put the shirt on, but no. No, he just had to blot his
handsome brow a bit. He's OK now.

Kirk continues, tits to the wind, while the camera gives us a good long
look at him walking out of the lift, past the camera, and down the hall.
Hey, he looks good from the back too! Thank GOD! I was worried there for
a minute.

NOTE: I don't know why Kirk complains in Naked Time about having no
beach to walk on. He doesn't need a beach. The whole galaxy is his beach.

The next time we see Kirk HE'S STILL NOT DRESSED YET. He's in his
quarters, and he's working on it. He just has to call Spock one more
time first. Oh yeah, HE'S GOT HIS NUMBER. He stands in front of the
viewer, chatting with Spock, and lets Spock watch as he slowly, and very
deliberately, slips his arm into one sleeve, and then the other (like
the reverse strip-tease in the beginning of Barbarella), and then (after
stopping to chat one last time) finally pulls his tunic on over his
head, pulls it down into place, and that's it. The show's over.

Except we still have 40 minutes to fill, so now there's a lot of people
talking to each other and stuff. FWIW, Kirk looks good in clothes too.
Especially in all those yummy close-ups. Aww! he's so ~cute~! Couldn't
you just kiss that adorable face!?


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