Re: below average [rant]

On Apr 14, 11:15 am, Pepsi Zen <trees021...@aol.comedown> wrote:
> I feel so alone right now, very lonely, yet I don't think I could
> stand to be around people anyway.
>
> I wish I could just walk away from my job. I have to go through
> another week working on a system that is so difficult it damages my
> body, then after that I will train on another system. It will be a lot
> less physical labor, but still a soul-killing job. But do I deserve
> any better?
>
> When, as part of the interview nine years ago, I was given a walk
> through of the plant, I saw how disgusting it was. I had a feeling I
> belonged in such an environment. So I took the job when it was
> offered, well, the dollar signs did blind me some too. Now I long for
> a clean, temperature-controlled place, with my own desk and computer.
> But I don't feel I belong in a place like that. I don't feel good in
> nice clothes, even business casual.
>
> Before I go to work I put on my beat-up jeans stained and discolored
> with various chemicals and a likewise long-sleeve shirt, and it feels
> right. When I go to work and put on my hard hat, safety glasses, ear
> protection, and beat-up steel-toe boots and walk into the noisy,
> smelly, dirty plant, it feels right.
>
x-no-archive: yes
> When I have to go out of the plant into the clean,
> temperature-controlled lab with its educated people testing samples, I
> feel all wrong. I feel low in status. I want to hang my head in shame.
> If I have to go to human resources for some reason, maybe to ask a
> question of the educated, competent woman in charge, I feel like a
> different species, like I'm not even human at all.
>
> I guess I better get showered and go to the fit center to lift weights
> so I can do my job better. There's usually no one there at the times I
> go. I wasn't able to go last week because I hurt too much from work.
> Sorry, this wasn't a very good rant. I'll do better next time!
>
>     -Pepsi Zen
I don't have a job and can't work anymore. I lament
quitting the job I had years ago, where I felt the same way as you do.
I would have been retired now w/ benefits.
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Friday's Saccade (14.04.2008 17:54)