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boundaries and privacy (was Re: last night n today)

x-no-archive: yes

On Oct 4, 4:02 pm, the valerians <tess-valer...@juno.com> wrote:
> ack. one time i had wroten something it ws in an envelope. and my mthr
> opened the envelope and readed it out loud. it was private persnoal.
> and i did get mad and snatch it out of her hands. she was like
> "wha...???" like innocent all, didn't know what she had done wrong. i
> was very mad very embarsed.
>
> a v.

Ick.  This is icky to me, this refusal to acknowledge personal
boundaries.  Even if the person doing it isn't really doing it out of
malice, but just out of stupidity.  And ~this~ really is the reason
that I can't write about my personal difficulties (at least not with
any clarity or detail--I can be vague about it sometimes and that can
sometimes be ok but anything more than that is a huge no-no).

Putting it out there, in writing, where others can see it and take it
and make it into what they want to make it into......UGH.  Not only
does it make it real but it seems to me like it is giving it to others
with permission to use it as they wish.  It is frustrating because
lately I've been having trouble remembering things--not just big
things, but little things--you know, the things that seem unimportant
at the time, but a few days or weeks later you need to remember what
day that thing happened or whatever and you can't because you can't
remember anything.  And I've been contemplating writing everything
down that happens in a day's time--even the little things like "ran
into so-and-so and they told me 'x'" because there have been too many
times recently where I've needed to remember something as trivial as
that and can't.  But then I think, "I have no safe place to put
that."  Which is pretty silly because it isn't like I'm thinking about
keeping a ~journal~ full of personal, private stuff (~that~ would be
impossible).  But the truth is, I have no place safe to keep anything
and I wouldn't want anyone to find it and read it and know what I do
during the time when I am not there.  (Again, even though I'm not
doing anything incriminating or anything like that.)

Logically, I know this is stupid.  As my sometimes ever-so-helpful
sister told me one time, "it's always about you".  I know it is stupid
to think that anyone would even want to know what I do during the time
I am away, let alone care about it.  People don't think about me in
that way--you know, the way in which they would have to think about
someone to want to find out what they do and where they go, etc.

Anyway.....ick.

Domino

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