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Re: here

On Oct 22, 11:37 pm, astri <inva...@example.com> wrote:
> On Mon, 22 Oct 2007, emerging butterfly wrote:
> > hi. thanks for the responses to stuff last night; read new stuff on
> > posts tonight.
> > baba yaga said stuff bout how mental health worker of mine said stuff
> > that make less person
> > i think that's one of the big triggers
> > been feeling like need to be way less person, more compliant, less me
> > n i don't know how
> > i try make alters n self shut up, can't
> > try forcing them shut up n shut down, can't long-term be just quiet n
> > submissive
> > n be better girl don't know how
> > try force
> > can't make happen
>
> is not healthy to stifle self
> is not healthy to be compliant robot

is if bad person by nature

> those who told or tell you this are wrong
> those who told or tell you this are self-serving, selfish jerks
>
> > want desperately be better
>
> yes
> understand

yeah, know you feel this way too sometimes

>
> > better is:
> > - unemotional on outside -
>
> having feelings and expressing them appropriately
>
> > - unassuming -
>
> behaving appropriately to the situation

don't do this well enough

>
> > - not use psychology knowledge, quit acquiring this knowledge -
>
> use acquired knowledge to good aims
>
> > - very quiet -
>
> in movie theaters during quiet scenes
> in concert halls during symphony performance

heh.

>
> > - do dbt and reprogram self to do dbt -
>
> as useful
>
> > - not bother people ever -
>
> but interact with people

this post -- bothersome?

>
> > - productive more -
>
> as can
>
> > - not try offer help or answers (presumptuous)-
>
> offer help or friendship
>
> > - not feel for self, ever -
>
> have feelings and express them appropriately
>
> > i try watch people who are reserved, be like them
> > problem is, not reserved
>
> be you, not them
>
> > not quiet
> > not unemotional (show lots evident caring even if don't mean to)
> > fascinated with psychology (presumptuous know-it-all)
> > compulsively bug people n pretend they like me
> > can't clean apartment most of time
> > try offer help when shouldn't, overstepping
> > do feel for others and sometimes for self --
>
> is ok to be these ways
>
> > shouldn't be
> > need be compliant good girl
> > n shut the fuck up.
> > i don't know how.
>
> isn't a healthy thing to know how to do

should be able to be quieter
just took test too after i posted this it said i'm overly dependent
and overly extroverted
see?

>
> > does anyone know how?
> > how to stifle self better?
>
> we're experts at stifling self
> making self not exist

yes

> always causes problems

for you, but me need to make self not exist
how do it?
hide?
lots of sleep meds to sleep a lot more?
can't do long-term
have to learn how to be with people but not be overinteract

>
> -- astri
>
>   =====================
>   to email send to astri
>   =====================
>       at volcano dot org
>   =====================

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