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here

hi. thanks for the responses to stuff last night; read new stuff on
posts tonight.
baba yaga said stuff bout how mental health worker of mine said stuff
that make less person
i think that's one of the big triggers
been feeling like need to be way less person, more compliant, less me
n i don't know how
i try make alters n self shut up, can't
try forcing them shut up n shut down, can't long-term be just quiet n
submissive
n be better girl don't know how
try force
can't make happen

want desperately be better
better is:
- unemotional on outside -
- unassuming -
- not use psychology knowledge, quit acquiring this knowledge -
- very quiet -
- do dbt and reprogram self to do dbt -
- not bother people ever -
- productive more -
- not try offer help or answers (presumptuous)-
- not feel for self, ever -

i try watch people who are reserved, be like them
problem is, not reserved
not quiet
not unemotional (show lots evident caring even if don't mean to)
fascinated with psychology (presumptuous know-it-all)
compulsively bug people n pretend they like me
can't clean apartment most of time
try offer help when shouldn't, overstepping
do feel for others and sometimes for self --
shouldn't be
need be compliant good girl
n shut the fuck up.
i don't know how.
does anyone know how?
how to stifle self better?

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