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Re: not so good

cometz <cometzbb@gmail.com> writes:

> On Oct 12, 2:47 am, Catkejan <kittenc...@nym.panta-rhei.eu.org> wrote:
>> cometz <comet...@gmail.com> writes:
>> > On Oct 11, 5:13 pm, Emerging Butterfly
>> > <emerging.butter...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>> >> On Oct 11, 8:59 am, cometz <comet...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> >> > working on bad stuff in tpy. good to work on. makes lots of bad
>> >> > triggers tho. resounds all thru each day. also had some foo stuff
that
>> >> > should be happy but only reminds of pain. all wound around. all
hurt.
>> >> > hard to get ok. hard to try. inside outside all twisted and pain.
>> >> > can't write it all down cause is too hard. is no one right now.
maybe
>> >> > is no one ever.
>>
>> >> > don't know who we are right now
>>
>> >> sorry is so hard. the therapist i'm looking at seeing right now talks
>> >> about setting up inside safety n such first, before delving into
>> >> memories. does your therapist do that?
>> >> maybe is not always possible to prevent chaos with the working through
>> >> of stuff.
>> >> i sorry is so hard.
>> >> i've seen you be several different people at several different times,
>> >> so when you say maybe is no one ever, want to tell you it appears you
>> >> is a lot of people a lot of different times! maybe someone else inside
>> >> will come out soon to give you some reprieve.
>> >> is not fair your foo made even good things have to be surrounded with
>> >> hurt and twisted and pain.
>>
>> > there is safety. it is only about all the feelings what come when hard
>> > things are worked on. then the weight weight heavy ugh comes down on
>> > us. have to go thru. can't get around.
>> > foo thing is just sad stupid us. bro got married. not didn't tell till
>> > after. even tho his wife promised we know as soon as they decide. only
>> > not. more more more invisible who cares stupid us to ever think we
>> > matter. no we never did to anyone. just a reminder. they happy. we
>> > should be. always should. no don't have feelings. be happy. shut up.
>> > stupid stupid. over and over. stupid.
>>
>> > all mixed up who knows anyway
>>
>> I don't like feeling out of the loop with people I think I should be
>> in the loop with, either.
>>
>> In sympathy,
>>
>> jp
>
> yes, is exactly exact. and was told would be in loop, just to know.
> not to go there. too far away. we not get in the way. just to be told.
> stupid girl we don't remember to shut up. don't remember to don't
> care. no more on them. we be safe now.
>
> us

Sometimes people don't realize how I feel about being left out.
Sometimes people really don't like me and want to leave me out. I have
trouble telling the difference, and I always worry so much that it's
the most p*inful of those.

jp

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