lost friends

Do you guys have this happen?  I have had it repeatedly, and so I feel
really alone and like a total loser.

I don't have many friends at any given time, so it is traumatic when I lose
one. Here is what happens. I will have a friendship for a long time, years,
and this person knows about my DID.  Then eventually we get in an argument,
and I get angry too, which is an important thing for me since anger was not
allowed in the growing up environment.

Anyway, I get angry and I say so, and then one of my alters gets angry and
says so, and that's new for her too.  But what the friend sees is that she
is getting my wrath twice, and it is a really weasely thing to do in a
"normal" situation (outside of this group of posters who work on their DID
here).  I have friends say "Gee, I wish I had some inner-other-JERK to blame
my bad behavior on."  And then I am even more angry, and often that is the
end of things. Meaning the friendship.

This has been an "all anger" weekend, because Friday after this happened I
was so overwhelmed with anxiety I just could not cope, took some pills and
went back to bed (something I have not done in a long time).  When I woke
from that, I had to tell myself that anxiety is anger and that I am allowed
to have my anger too, no matter what happens in the other person's mind or
to their perceptions.

I have explained this here the best way I know how.

Have any of you had similar things happen?  Is there any way to "uncook"
this egg?

Worry, of Pleiades
[ Auf dieses Posting antworten ]