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floating

Today there was a work conference call. I was there....i heard my
voice....saying professional things and all. but i was not there. i
was floating somewhere. i keep floating. my plan to get through is not
good. i'm at a tipping point. i don't want to go back home, to the
community.
however, the community has had much upheaval lately with several folks
leaving almost at once. I am responsible to be there for others there.
I am responsible to myself to give a 30 day notice and investigate
other situations thoroughly before committing to anything. i'm looking
at some shared home/room or basement rental situations. it is evident
to me that i have the money to up and leave right now. but that would
not be okay for the other community members, and it would feel like
running rather than making a reasoned decision. even if i need to
leave the community, i still need to look at my options. it's tempting
to just....leave.
thanks for listening.
floating floating floating. very very dissociated.

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