Re: Roller Coaster Life

On Jul 4, 8:28 pm, "Cindy's Mom" <jehedgec...@qwest.net> wrote:
> On Jul 4, 8:30 am, Jo in Ok <josi...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> > On Jul 3, 11:43 am, Liliana <xen...@rogers.com> wrote:
>
> > > When people say their life is like a roller coaster, we think of
> > > extreme highs and extreme lows.  With grieving the loss of a child 
the
> > > highs are really missing.  Metaphorically the highs are a relief or
an
> > > absence of pain for a while. Since I lost my son , the days are black
> > > and white and merge one into the other.  I try wth all my might to
> > > experience some joy, in a sunset or a good book.  I try with all my
> > > might to re-capture who I was, but I fail.  I can't even come close
.
> > > I try to remember who I was before I had children, and think maybe I
> > > can go back there, and remember me as a little girl or a teenager who
> > > had so much fun, and woke up each morning with such joy and
> > > possibilites.  I try this mostly at night when I can't sleep.
 Wh
o am
> > > I?
> > > I look at pictures of before, and my eyes are bright and shiny, my
> > > smile genuine, a soul that lived in paradise.
> > > You can tell now in the pictures, the smile is forced, the eyes are
> > > dull.  All an act.
> > > I walk the familiar streets where I raised my children for over 30
> > > years.  I am the mother who lost a son. There she is, walking her d
og
> > > poor woman.  I wonder how she copes......if it were me....  I
don
't
> > > know what I would do? I feel the voices in my head, I see the look of
> > > pity.  I am marked.
> > > How can anyone have any real "fun" with a mother who has lost a
> > > child.   The words are guarded, the excitement is tempered.
> > > At the beginning friends would talk little of their own children.  
Now
> > > I hear about their upcoming weddings, their new jobs, how great they
> > > are doing, all the little family intimacies, and blissful family
> > > gatherings that I remember having.
> > > I don't fit in anymore, not really.  I am the mother who has lost a
> > > child.  See..... there she is... that poor woman... how does she co
pe.
>
> > .......................................................................
.....................................
> >   (((((hugs))))) just wanted to say hi and send some hugs for you or
> > anyone else needing them....I have a few people that I guess you could
> > say pity me
> > or feel sorry for me...one lady just had an older senior age father
> > die and yet
> > she feels losing a child is way worse...I think us parents' just will
> > never be the
> > same anymore-never be "normal" or free,happy go lucky...when we
> > remember
> > our beloved child that has died before us, it brings pain and
> > bewilderment.
> >   I also liked what Daniel said ,"
> > They have forgotten that you have not forgotten.  They cannot
> > remember
> > that you cannot forget."
> >  We can't forget nor should we. We are here to keep the memories
> > "alive"
> > that our child did exist and he or she was this or that way...lovely
> > kids,silly
> > kids, and loved alot, meant alot and always missed
> > alot....Jo...Wally's mom- Hide quoted text -
>
> > - Show quoted text -
>
> ((((HUGS)))) to all of us missing our loved ones this day. I agree
> with so much of what has been said. july 4th was always a time of cook-
> outs and craft shows with my daughter Cindy. I am thankful for the
> memories and that I can now, after a year and a half remember her with
> a smile. but sad beyond words that we will not be making any new
> memoires this year. Life is not fair or predictable, so we do just
> have to try and go on living as was said and somedays it is harder
> than others. thinking of all of you..Judy, Cindy's  Mom.- Hide quoted t
ext -
>
> - Show quoted text -

HI Judy,
In Canada we had our JUly 1st, celebration.  I could see the fireworks
from my balcony.  There is so much to celebrate in this life, and
before I was the type that would make a feast out of a crust of
bread.  Every day was special and a celebration.  I hung on to that
joy with all my might, almost as if I knew it would be taken away.
I agree, hugs to all that have lost.... and peace..... and perhaps
sometime, somewhere there will be a peace for us that surpasses all
understanding.
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